It’s no secret that I’m a sucker for a good dirty martini. Tito’s. A tad extra dirty. Blue cheese-stuffed olive. They’re like water to me. And frankly, they taste way better on a rooftop bar in Milan overlooking the Duomo di Milano, so I found out this summer. 🍸
So when I tell you that my conversations can get a little spirited after a few, my thoughts and opinions on the biggest blockers to solo traveling certainly aren’t excluded. They might even get as strong as my martinis.
No one ever wants to hear a harsh, big-sister-esque truth. But as I write this (totally sober, I might add), here’s my brutally honest take on why most women won’t start solo traveling, even though there’s a deep, burning desire to pack up and go.
It’s you, babe. All. You. You are the problem and not making shit happen.
💥 The Truth Bombs:
💣 You’re internalizing the bullshit you hear and read online that puts your nervous system in a tailspin.
💣 You’re fighting like hell to shield yourself from judgment you’ll get from friends and family (even though, ironically, they’re not the ones living your life).
💣 You’re running from the discomfort of actually spending time with yourself and your own thoughts.
💣 You’re buying into the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone.
💣 You’re unwilling to actually go see the world and get out of your own zip code.
💣 You lack the belief in yourself that you could ever do something like that.
💣 You’re self-sabotaging and putting your perceived priorities at the top of your list when the whole time YOU and your dreams should be your own top priority.
Does that sound a little harsh? Probably. But I say it from a place of tough love because you deserve to have amazing life experiences. And solo travel can deliver.
Look, we can be our own worst enemies sometimes. Our brains play funny tricks on us and make us think that everything is terrible and horrible and the world sucks and is scary. The funny thing is that when I solo travel, I find that this is the exact opposite. Actually, the world can be pretty cool, and people are genuinely kind.
Certainly solo travel isn’t for everyone. It can be challenging and uncomfortable and frustrating and lonely. And God forbid we as women should do anything for ourselves, as society has screamed to us our whole lives.
But let me tell you something. For me, absolutely no feeling of discomfort has ever outweighed the feelings of joy, awe, pride, and freedom after I go on a solo trip. It’s liberating, exciting, mentally stimulating, and the experience makes for the BEST stories (just ask my friends when I spill the dirt over drinks 😬).
No silver bullet will make you ready to pack your bags and jet off to a foreign country all by yourself. But here are a few things I’ve found to be helpful:
💪 How to Build Your Solo Travel Bravery Muscle:
✅ Practice discernment with the precision of a ninja. Filter the shit out of negativity you read/hear online and other people’s opinions from your mind.
✅ Begin with the end in mind. Close your eyes and imagine sipping wine in Italy, snorkeling between two tectonic plates in Iceland, or eating a pastel de nata in Portugal. Feel the feeling of joy and excitement.
✅ Build a vision board and use it as a daily reminder of where you want to go.
✅ Start small and work your way up. Take a trip to a little town in your area for the day. Or drive one state over. Or take a quick two-hour domestic flight to a city you’ve always wanted to visit. Solo travel doesn’t require you to leave the country (although if you’re called to, go for it!)
✅ Find a community of like-minded, aspiring solo travelers and get support, encouragement, and resources there (like The Solo Travel Sisterhood - a free community I founded!)
🎬 My Last Take:
Remember that this is YOUR life, sister. Put on your big girl panties and go for it. Take the leap. Jump off the f’cking diving board already.
You will NEVER regret investing in seeing the world and doing something cool for yourself.
Money comes back. Time doesn’t. Book the trip.
And think of me when you’re sipping on a martini from afar. 🍸
You got this.
Your bossy (but loving) big sister in solo travel,
Meg
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